Sex Addiction: Are They Character Defects, Virtues, Assets or Traits?

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So, you begin a program of recovery and you get to step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character’ that we discovered in step 4. In step 7 ‘We humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings’

We come to discover that we do have some moral flaws, some challenges with our overall character and moral compass.

So the question becomes…What’s the difference between Character defects, virtues, assets or traits?

Many of us, myself included begin the journey to recovery from sex addiction with a false belief that we don’t have any defects of character. haha…I remember saying I just have a problem with my sexual behaviors other than that, I’m fine…Talk about denial…

I’ve identified 14 different character traits that gravitate to different ends of the defect and virtue asset spectrum. Let me explain. For me, the character traits, which I’ll call them for now are:

  1. Selfish
  2. Self-willed
  3. Self-centered
  4. Self-seeking
  5. Controlling
  6. Manipulating
  7. Analyzing
  8. Judging
  9. Dominating
  10. Predatorial
  11. Sarcastic
  12. Witty
  13. Lying
  14. Grandiose

Excluding lying, the above can be categorized as character traits. How we choose to see them is up to us. I can call all of these character defects since at times in my life pre-recovery, these were the 14 that dominated my life. I can also choose to call many of them character virtues or assets.

Let’s take controlling. By itself it’s a character trait. If we look at an individual who’s in control of a ship, an organization, their life, it’s a character virtue or asset. If the same trait is used to control people for selfish gain or immoral activities, this character trait, virtue or asset now becomes a defect of character.

We come to realize some ares of our life are two edged swords. For me, controlling is good when it comes to controlling outcomes for my clients. When it’s about getting what I want and controlling people for selfish, self-centered desires…it’s a defect.

What are your thoughts about character defects, virtues, assets or traits? Please comment below or share

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