Why are Sex Addicts so Lonely?

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Loneliness plays a major role in sex addiction. For many sex addicts, loneliness is at the root of their addiction and the more alone they remain the easier it is for their addiction to take root and flourish . Others suffer from loneliness as they become increasingly isolated as a result of their sexually addictive behaviors. The more obsessed the addict becomes, the more time they spend getting their fix.  Loneliness is a serious aspect of sex addiction and can lead to severe depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts.  Because of this, sex addiction is not to be taken lightly. 

Unfortunately, sex addiction can be easily misunderstood. Many people think that sex addicts are simply out of control sexually. However, the reality is that addicts are suffering emotionally. Shame, guilt, anxiety and depression are common. Sex addicts often fall into addiction as an escape from loneliness or pain caused by an abusive past, difficulty in dealing with their emotions and feelings or other traumatic experiences.

Each sex addict is different so naturally, the symptoms of addiction are different. Still, there are many common signs of addiction including the following:

  • Sex with multiple random or anonymous partners which ends up with loneliness as no real intimate bond is created
  • Lack of intimacy/sexual interest with partner in committed relationship again loneliness with self
  • Engaging in increasingly risky sexual behavior this involves others and then causes shame, guilt and low self-esteem leading to solitude
  • Hiring prostitutes or escorts- the sex addict is still alone even though engaging in sex with another person
  • Frequenting strip clubs- even though the addict is around people, these are not intimate caring healthy relationships
  • Engaging in phone/cyber sex- adds to the loneliness of the disease
  • Inability to attend to responsibilities at home and work- the addict wants to be alone with their acting out activities
  • Excessive viewing of pornography and masturbation increases the loneliness

As you can see, the symptoms of sex addiction all lead to loneliness.  Instead of judging sex addicts, it may be helpful to see their addiction as a plea for help. The sooner that you can support and guide your loved one to help, the easier recovery will be for him or her. Recovery from sex addiction requires professional help, time and healing. Sex addicts must learn how to cope with the root causes of their addiction in order to make a full and lasting recovery.


While professional treatment is important, there are some things that people can do on their own to help cope with loneliness and sex addiction. Sex addicts who come to their addiction as a way of coping with loneliness can learn ways to deal with these emotions. Talking with family, friends and even a therapist can help addicts remember that they are never really alone. Support groups are also a great resource for sex addicts suffering from loneliness. The shared experience, advice, comfort and fellowship that comes with being part of a group can help alleviate feelings of isolation.

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